Rejection Sucks, but It’s Necessary

Have you ever encountered someone who didn’t understand the meaning of no? Are you one of those people? We've all been this person at one time or have run into these types on a daily basis. I feel that more people don't accept rejection well. We're taught that no is the first step towards yes, so being persistent is the right way of getting what you want. Problem is, when most of us say no the first time, the answer will continue to be no.

It cuts the same way in business and social situations; you receive a cold call to buy a service a salesperson is pushing and you decline. Instead of ending the call, he’ll ask to send you an email or to make a follow up call sometime in the future to which you reject more coldly. Socially, you’re out with friends and a person approaches you to make small talk and buy you a drink. You politely say no, but they’re persistent, they start trying to be funny and maybe ask you to dance. It ends with you telling them off.

People have a hard time with rejection since the biggest problem with rejection is that it’s a blow to the ego. It’s processed as they are less than their self-perception or that they’re not good enough for you. When people think they look bad, the ego takes over and anger ensues. A rejection is usually followed by a vicious retort to the person or company, “Yeah well your company makes clothes that suck so screw you for not hiring me!” It’s understandable to see that type of reaction, but is it necessary?

Maturity plays a huge role, as when I was young adult, I didn't deal with rejection well. I would foster a grudge towards so and so then figure there was something wrong with them, when there was really something wrong with me, my approach, and anything else I was doing. You get older, you realize it's not the end of the world, but it still stings a little bit (why not, we all want to succeed).

There are better ways to deal with being rejected. The first is to take your ego out of it and not taking the rejection personal. If you take the rejection personal, then look at yourself and not the person doing the rejecting, try to understand why you were rejected and how you can improve so the next time it’s a yes instead of a no. If it’s a business decision, politely ask for feedback on what the issue is. If it’s social, just walk away and know that there’s billions of fish in the sea and not to worry. You'll grow as a human, start landing those deals and finding the right people, then you'll look back and thank all of those people that told you no.