As we get older, we tend to reflect a bit more on what’s happening to us than our younger years. Thinking about moments in time will bring us back to them and how we were feeling. It’s an amazing tool that the mind can manipulate our bodies into actually feeling that we were back in that embarrassing or triumphant moment.
Listening to Dr. Rick Hansen, who’s an expert on changing reactions towards positive over negative events, on a podcast last week, he made perfect sense when he asked the question; if we all want to be happier people, then why are we addicted to negative feelings?
Why do we do that? I would wallow in a certain mood because of a breakup and somehow going back to a scenario, where I can relive the embarrassment, lump in my throat, and pit in my stomach, is supposed to make me feel better and move on? I think if I focused on the love and improvements I made as a human from that connection and enjoyed it for longer than I initially did, then I would have focused less on the pain, which wouldn’t have been so damaging to my body and spirit.
I agree with Dr. Hansen that the key to living a better lifestyle is focusing more on the positive things that happen to us, whether it’s how you felt when you first saw that person you fell in love with, getting a promotion, or when your child was born. Let it simmer instead of passing through and looking for the next gratification, you’ll learn how to appreciate the beautiful subtleties that life offers instead of taking them for granted.
Let’s switch how we look at negativity; when a negative event occurs, learn from it and let it pass instead of a continued focus on it. Instead of looking for instant gratification, bask in the positivity and come to a self-realization that you’re worth the goodness that comes to you.
It’s something I’ve been working on over the last month and it’s an amazing feeling. Why wouldn’t it be, focusing on the bad feelings from life is like drinking poison and expecting to feel better. I can tell you that it’ll be difficult at first because it’s a habit that we’ve done most of our lives and we’re surrounded by society’s penchant for negative publicity, but with practice and removal of those negative sources (certain news, people, etc), it’ll be worth it.