"Why did you write the book?” It’s a question I get all the time. It makes sense considering most people keep their personal life to themselves. The book was a long time coming, it took almost 30 years for the story to complete. In the book’s introduction, I shed light on how my upbringing was a bit stormy due to the family situation and how it translated into a mess while going through my late teenage to early adult years.
I started writing during a period of transition in my life. I was unhappy in an off and on relationship for a couple years, I was out of shape, my company was failing, and I wasn’t coping with things very well as my past tended to creep up in my mind. I was always blaming everything else, whether it was the girl, my schedule, my investors, and myself for the past. One night I began writing random poems as an outlet. It positively affected my life as I began taking better care of myself, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
With a chance to reflect over the year, I realized there was still a lot of unsettled issues that needed to be putto rest involving how I grew up, how I treated people, how I ruined relationships, but also the realization of how I got through those hardships and the success I found afterwards. So I wrote from October to December, about 50 poems. I had to draw back to very old parts of my life and bring them to the present without getting caught up in the pain, basically watching my reaction to the abuse I saw as a child and what I did to others but as a bystander. I thought about the lessons learned and the clarity I found through therapy and different thinking. Once I put them to paper and edited the poems, the remembering of all the pain was gone then the happy memories and positivity is all that remains.