“You’re focused on the problem instead of the solutions”
I was having a bad day. My company was having issues and I couldn’t stop focusing on what went wrong and why. I was talking to my friend about it and kept complaining about one part of the issue.
Sick of hearing me complain, my friend made the best point I ever heard. I don’t know where he got it from, but if he made it up, it’s genius.
When we encounter a situation, we tend to focus on what happened and not the present of fixing the issue, which will clear up our future. I was great at obsessing on how and why a problem would arise, making up scenarios of how it went down, and never on fixing it or my bad habits that would cause it.
Many times others are to blame for problems that fall onto us, but when looking at the problem in its entirety, usually we’re the common denominator that brings it together. I’m not saying that we’re at fault for everything that happens to us, but it so happens that we’re a part of it, which tells you something.
It tells you that you might be surrounding yourself with the wrong people. If your friends are getting in trouble and you’re alongside them, then most likely you’ll be in trouble too. If your partner is constantly in debt and taking from you while it ruins your life, maybe it’s time to get out of that relationship.
It could mean that the problems are on you for not being at your best. In my case, if my business wasn’t doing what it needed to for making people happy, then that’s on me for not putting out enough effort to get the job done.
Whenever something happens, I immediately try to take myself outside of the situation, regardless of how upset or mad I get. I don’t blame myself, but I acknowledge that since this is my issue, I need to take a look at how causes X and Y, which led to the problem, are affecting my life. The easy part was done for us, but it takes effort to find the right solutions to go forward to become better people.
Depending on the severity of the problem, it won’t take a lifetime to figure out what the solutions to the problems are, it takes truth and not excuses to absolve yourself of blame or doing what is needed regardless of how others may think of you.
Life will throw problems at us and we can’t help that, but the solutions are there for you, as long as you’re focused on them and nothing else.